Definitions of a Kiss by Different Professors

Professors of different subjects define the same word in different ways :

Prof. of Computer Science :

A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.

Prof. of Algebra :

A kiss is two divided by nothing.

Prof. of Geometry :

A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.

Prof. of Physics :

A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.

Prof. of Chemistry :

A kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.

Prof. of Zoology :

A kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary bacteria.

Prof. of Physiology :

A kiss is the just a position of two orbicular muscles in the state of contraction.

Prof. of Dentistry :

A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.

Prof. of Accountancy :  

A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.

Prof. of Economics :

A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply.

Prof. of Statistics :

A kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of 36-24-36.

Prof. of Philosophy :

A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.

Prof. of English :

A kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is spoken  in the plural and it is applicable to all.

Prof. of Engineering :

Uh, What? I'm not familiar with that term.

Funny Answers of a Candidate on the Interview

Interviewer : There are 50 bricks on an airplane.

If you drop 1 outside, How many are left?

Applicant : That's easy, 49.

Interviewer : What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?

Applicant : Open the fridge.
Put the elephant in.
Close the fridge.

Interviewer : What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?

Applicant : Open the fridge.
Take the elephant out.
Put the deer in.
Close the fridge.

Interviewer : It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?

Applicant : Because the deer is in the fridge.

Interviewer : How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?

Applicant : She just crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday.

Interviewer : Last question.
In the end the old lady still died. Why?

Applicant : Er....I guess she drowned?

Interviewer : No! She was hit by the brick fallen from the airplane. You may leave now.

Bihar School Teacher's killer English

• Pick up the paper and fall in the dust-bin!
• Both of you three, stand together separately! 
• Will you hang that calendar or I'll "Hang Myself!" 
• Tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father! 
• Why are you looking at the monkey outside when Im in the class...?
• I have 2 daughters: both are girls. 
• Stand in the middle of the corner!

One Direction - Maths Song